Recently I had a client who is doing pretty well as a student in a professional course. She consulted me for emotional problems she was experiencing for the last three months. During discussion with her it was unravelled that in her last test she scored a little less than she would have liked to. After this incident she started getting thoughts such as "I am a failure", "I don't have the ability to do this course", "I made a wrong decision choosing such a difficult course", "I should quit this course and choose an easy career". At this point I asked her to imagine a hypothetical scenario. If one of her friends was in the same situation and came to her for seeking advice, would she tell her friend all the things that she has been telling to herself. It was definitely something to ponder over.
Sometimes in our eagerness to excel, we become too critical of oneself. That critical voice in our heads can have a bearing on our happiness. This client that I am talking about was doing extremely well in her studies and was certainly on the path to success. But these harsh criticisms targeted at herself was bringing her down. I suggested her that she has to be more compassionate about herself. I told her never to tell anything to herself that she wouldn't tell to someone else.
Stop being harsh to yourself. Be more compassionate.
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